Identity
Our Identity is God-given never earned.
By: Lindsay Lydon
On a recent trip to the Ark Encounter in Williamstown, Kentucky, I snapped a photo that brought back a rush of memories. It reminded me of a time when my life felt chaotic and completely out of alignment—and the hardest part was realizing that I had chosen it. I remember asking myself, How did I even get here?
I graduated college in May 2024, but my mind drifted back to those nights in the middle of frat parties, standing on the dance floor thinking, How is this satisfying anyone? The flashing lights, the loud music, the hookup culture, and the cloud of weed and alcohol—it all felt so empty. Everyone seemed to be chasing something, but no one knew what. And there I was, asking myself, Why am I here? What am I missing?
Even with all the laughter, Snapchat stories, and the “core memories” everyone was trying to make, I felt completely disconnected. I was desperately trying to find purpose in a world that defined me by my actions and choices. But deep down, I was craving something more—something real, something lasting. I just didn’t know yet that my identity had already been given to me by God. I didn’t have to earn it.
At that time, I was on a scholarship, trying to stay focused, but also trying to “have fun” and not miss out. I was slowly transitioning from my Catholic upbringing to actually wanting to know who Jesus really was. What is in this Bible that’s powerful enough to transform people’s lives? Could it change mine? I had so many questions. And if I’m honest—I was scared. Scared to change. Scared to let go of comforts. Too stubborn to do the hard thing, even if it might be worth it.
I’ll save the full testimony for another post, but let me just say: there was a season of wrestling. In the middle of spiritual warfare, I battled overthinking—constantly wondering, What’s my personal brand? What will people think if I stop doing what they think is fun?
Looking back, I realize so much of my shame and fear came from living in sin and hiding. I didn’t want to confront the reality of what I was going through. I believed the lies the world told me: that I wasn’t enough, that I was too much, that I had to earn love, attention, or success. I isolated myself because I didn’t want to be a burden. And truthfully? I thought I deserved the confusion I was in.
I love my friends, and they’re good people. But during that time, it felt like I was on the outside looking in—watching them chase their temporary highs while I was left alone with the weight of my own convictions. I didn’t understand what “guarding your heart” meant. I didn’t have boundaries. I didn’t know what environments I needed to leave completely versus which ones I could stay in and stay strong. I was trying to figure it all out in real time.
It wasn’t until I stepped away from that environment and leaned deeper into my walk with Jesus that I began to feel real peace. Understanding spiritual warfare has been a huge part of my growth. It’s a battle—every single day—between the truth of who God says I am and the lies that try to redefine me.
Learning that my worth isn’t based on what I do or who accepts me—but on who God says I am—has been liberating. I’m not chasing satisfaction in empty things anymore. I’ve found true joy and purpose in Him.
So why am I writing this?
Because maybe you’ve felt lost too. Maybe you’re stuck in a cycle that doesn’t make sense anymore, and you’re scared to let go of something you think you can’t live without. I want you to know—you are not crazy. You are not alone. Even if you’re confused, that’s okay! Talk about it. Bring it into the light. Don’t bottle it up.
There is peace available to you. There is healing and freedom—not because you’ve earned it, but because Jesus already paid for it. Some people will try to give you a list of rules or steps to get it right. But let me tell you about the God I serve: the one true God who sent His son Jesus to die for our sin. That same Jesus wants you to draw near. Right now. Just as you are.
Even if you’re surrounded by people who don’t believe—ask the Holy Spirit for help. He hears you.
I recently volunteered at a summer camp, and I watched middle and high school girls pray out loud for the first time in their lives. It was powerful. A year ago, I had never prayed over anyone, and now here I was, leading prayer with these girls looking at me like I’d done it forever. That’s how fast God can work. That’s what He can do with a surrendered heart.
So reader, if there’s one thing I hope you take away from this:
You are never too far gone.
You are not forgotten. You are a child of the Most High God. You are so worthy—of love, of peace, of the fruits of the Spirit.
Lean into community. Find brothers and sisters who walk with Jesus. Get connected to a mentor who can help guide you spiritually. Open your Bible. Ask questions. And above all—know that you are not alone.
Still figuring it out, but with God this time. — Lindz
In Living Water 